Girls Night Out -- a thing of the past

This is going to sound a bit hypocritical at first but whatever, why do conversations with almost every girl I know somehow go back to the subject of guys? I feel like Miranda in that episode of "Sex and the City" where she asked the girls if they were the same as they were in high school but now had bigger checking accounts (the exact quote is "It's like seventh grade with bank accounts.")

It's true. EVERYTHING goes back to men. What happened to having passions or true girls night outs? I think I just want to hang out by myself for awhile and reclaim my individuality. I missed the early days of coming here where I barely knew anyone and I would wander around by myself and my ipod. It was fucking amazing and I did NOT have to play "wing woman" or deal with some unwanted man hanging around me.

I feel like some women need men to hit on them or give them attention for some sort of validation. It makes me sad and angry because I love a lot of my girlfriends and think they are such smart and beautiful woman. But concentrating so much on getting attention is REALLY a bummer and honestly, a pain in the ass to be around. Why can't we validate ourselves based on our accomplishments? Is it just human nature or is it just weak women?

It's just a hard thing to do because what do I do -- not socialize? That kind of blows. I guess I'm going to have to figure out how to do my own thing while also socializing (but not to the degree that I'm doing it now).

Just REALLY frustrating.

All the mixed up thoughts in my head

So if you know me, you know that I usually have 2983749287 thoughts going on in my head. So what better way to convey them than with a blogpost?

1) Why do some people not get the hint?
So I have this unnamed individual that some of you know about that is driving me friggin crazy. Trying to push himself WAY too much in my life and it's becoming a little too much. I mean I want to be nice but can he take a hint and not try and do everything I want to do? If you ask me to hang out and I repeatedly say no, what do you think that means? According to him, it means that I should make more of an effort to hangout with him more. mmmm fun times. I give myself 1 or 2 more weeks until I tell him to go fuck off.

2) SF vs. NYC
Okay, YES I am born & raised in NYC but does that mean that my first topic of conversation has to be about comparing both cities. "Which city has the worst crazies?" "How's the nightlife in NYC compared to SF?" I don't know yet. And frankly, I don't really care. lol. Why compare things. People should just enjoy where they are in the moment and that's that. I'm trying to do that, everyone else should do the same.

3) Men of SF -- what happened to your balls?
No clue if all of the men of SF got castrated in the recent years, but a lot of them do not have moxie. If you like a girl, do not be awkward about it (see #1 of this post) or sidetrack your way around it. Be upfront. "Hey let's go out" Lol we'll see how dating here goes :)

4) What the f*ck am I doing with my life?
So this point was originally going to be the central theme for this blogpost but I decided to make it a sub-topic. Long story short, advertising and I are not a match-made in heaven. I love the excitement and randomness of the field. But it's not what energizes me to get up in the morning. I've always had this dream of writing for television or a movie, something in entertainment. Time to make that happen.

I think that's all for now. I love this blog and will keep it up-to-date with all of my happenings. Things have been crazy busy on my end but it's been superb!

Feel free to comment with any of your own thoughts!

xoxoxo (so Gossip Girl),

Pam

The Boy Vow

So this post is LONG overdue, but it's 4am on Monday and I felt compelled to write this.

I officially did something I said I was going to do -- move to San Francisco. I moved here on October 22, 2011 and have loved it ever since.

The first month or so was tough because I had no idea how insane SF real estate is and it basically set me back a bit. Thankfully, I had my cousin who lived out here and she let me live on her couch for a month until I got my stuff together.

Now, I am a resident of Lower Pac Heights and love it (even though the neighborhood is a tad boring). But the apartment itself is SUPER amazing and the commute to work or anywhere else isn't bad at all.

Anyway, let me back to the topic at hand which happens to be the title of this blog post -- the Boy Vow.

So before I came out here, I had this silly fantasy that I was going to leave NYC, move here, and proceed to meet the love of my life. I blame the entire romantic comedy genre for this thought. I mean it could totally still happen but at the moment, I'd like to be more realistic.

My first dating experience out here did not turn out that perfectly. It consisted of my meeting a boy via okcupid, going on 4 dates in under 2 weeks, thinking he was more serious about it, and then getting "dumped" because he thought I was moving too fast. Now yes, this boy was stupid to do that but I'm also silly to not be over it.

So now that happened and of course I'm like "oh it's time to focus on myself, blah blah" No, I start fawning over yet another boy. Super smart. Time for my brain to interject and say "Pam, stop this insanity."

Now we're arriving at what I am calling The Boy Vow. This is meant to keep me serious about the stuff I want to do and put boys wayyyy lower on the consideration scale.

As of February 6, 2012, I, Pam, solemnly swear to put myself first and NOT obsess over boys anymore and be happy pursuing my interests/passions. I am no longer going to say "I want to do x,y,z" Instead it will be "I am going to do x,y,z"

Going to be tough to not care so much about boys, especially because it's fun. But i"m not becoming the person I want to be at this rate, so we'll see how this goes :)